A Season of Hope

Hopefully.........hopefully I will get the best gift I could ever wish for and get to see my sons this Christmas. However, if that does not happen, I will still be blessed by knowing that they are alive, well and happy.

I love this time of year because it is the one time of year when people seem to lay aside their grievances and be tolerant and loving of one another....forgiving one another.....caring for one another.

So.....hopefully fills my heart for now as I remember the precious Christ child who was born, lived and died for me.


Merry CHRISTmas to all!!

What Do I Have to Be Thankful For?

I am sure there are people that look at my life and wonder, "What in the world does she possibly have to be thankful for?" Truthfully, there have been many times in the past year and a half that I have asked myself that same question.

My sons and I have not had a relationship in the past year and a half. I email, text and snail mail them, but I don't receive any response. Before you feel sorry for me and judge them, know that the situation is all my fault. I do miss them horribly, pray for them daily, love them unendingly.

My mother has been gone for 3 years now, and I miss her so much. I take comfort in the fact that she is no longer in any pain. My father was always very abusive of my mother, myself and my oldest sister; I do not have any contact with him. My sisters and their families all live in Florida; I last saw them 2 years ago.

So, what DO I have to be thankful for? Let me tell you: I thank my gracious God each and every day that although I do not see my sons and my daughter-in-law, they are all alive, healthy, happy and productive adults. I have some dear friends whose children are no longer alive, and I feel blessed that mine are.

While I am without blood family here in town, I have more family than you can possibly imagine. God certainly knew what He was doing when He brought me to Childress. I work with the most amazing people in the world, and they really do care about me. When they ask me how I am doing, they actually ARE interested in my response. My church family is kind, gracious, forgiving and loving. I have been uplifted in prayer so many times in my life by this awesome group.

I have children that I did not give birth to, but they are mine all the same. Craig, Misty, Cooper and Keagan Sides are just as much my children and grandchildren as if we shared the same blood. I love them more than I ever thought was possible, and they love me right back no matter how damaged I am. When Cooper wraps his arms around my neck, says "Hi Dede," or "Later Gator," my heart overflows with more love than I thought it was ever possible to feel. Cory, Kara, Katie and Camrie B. also hold a special place in my heart as do Jarod, Nicole, Blaven and Owen Dill. I receive unconditional love from these families, and I thank God every day for bringing such blessings into my life.

So, you see, I AM blessed; I DO have many things to be thankful for!! First and foremost though, I am thankful that I serve a mercifully forgiving God who takes me as I am and molds me into something more! I love you all; HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Does It Really Make a Difference???

Does it REALLY make a difference when......

.......I say "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" to my classes as I come into the room?

....... I smile as I say hello to my co-workers?

.......I wave to my neighbors as I drive by?

.......I pick up that piece of trash in my neighbors yard?

.......I go to church every Sunday?

.......I text my sons once a week that I love them even though they do not respond?

.......I compliment my students on their work, clothes, hair, performance?

.......I scold my students, but end the conversation by telling them that I do it because I care?

.......I end each day with a prayer thanking God for my blessings and asking that he continue?

.......I begin each day thanking God for giving me another day to be what I know He wants me to be?


What do you think??


James 3:13-18 (NIV)
"Who is wise and understanding among you?
Let him show it by his good life,
by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

This Trick or Treater Not Welcome At My House!!

Satan sure has been knocking at my door a lot lately. He has disguised himself as a failed relationship, as an angry, disrespectful son, and now he has come knocking in the form of "precancerous cells." I guess he is taking full advantage of all disguises since Halloween is approaching.

One thing he does not realize though is that I am not the same person I was a year or two ago. I refuse to readily open my soul to all of the misgivings, worry and pain that he brings with him. I have a security guard that helps me recognize and turn away all that is intended for harm to me. I may falter for a second, but then I feel a strong hand on my shoulder, and look up into the honest eyes of my Lord. He gives me the strength and confidence to boldly walk away from the door....leaving it locked against Satan's attacks. I thank God every day for being my guard and for loving me in spite of who I am.

I can do all things through Jesus Christ who loves ME!

Hello Charlie Brown!!!

My favorite time of year is here....FALL! I love it! Sweater weather! Caramel apple weather! Football weather! The whole world looks as if God dipped His paintbrush in vibrant reds, yellows and oranges! The mornings are crisp and bright, and at night the skies are so clear you can see millions of stars! I love to walk through the leaves, kicking them as I go. When I was younger, I would pile up the leaves like Charlie Brown and run and jump in them! Aaahhh!!! Thank you, God for another season of change! Did I mention caramel apples????!!!!

What Do You Do When That Happens?

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could taste it? You struggle and you strive and do everything you know to do to make that want a reality? However, just when you think you are about to achieve your goal, BAM!! Everything seems to be in shreds again! What do you do when that happens?

As many of you know, this past year and a half has not been a good one for my sons and me. I have made many mistakes in my past, and I made one that affected them directly. They withdrew from me, and I cannot say that I blame them.

I have spent this time dedicating myself to becoming better: a better person, a better teacher, a better friend, a better Christian, a better sister, a better mother. I have given them space to heal and find forgiveness. I have texted, emailed, voice-mailed, snail-mailed. I have kept up with their lives with the help of their father and some very good friends. I have not forgotten birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. I have made sure that they know I love them and will continue to love them no matter what.

Unfortunately, an incident occurred this past week that was my "BAM!" for my relationship with my sweet sons, and I reacted exactly the way Satan wanted me to. I raged and railed at God for allowing the situation. I withdrew from Him; told Him I had no faith in Him. As I lay crumpled, broken, sobbing, it was like God spoke to me. I AM RIGHT HERE.. I realized that He had never left me, and He had not caused the situation. He allowed the situation because I needed to realize something. I needed to understand that the important thing in my life was not whether people forgave me my mistakes, but whether He forgave me my mistakes. I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU! Yes, yes God you have!! A weight fell away; I stood tall, breathing the deep breaths of a mercifully forgiven sinner! You see, I will not allow myself to be separated from my Savior!

I love my Lord, and I know He has a plan for my life. I will worship Him and serve Him while I am waiting.......God is Good!

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Have you ever thought about why you have the friends that you do? I mean, are they your friends because they support all that you say and do? Are they your friends because they have the same taste in clothes, food and movies as you do?

My friends are my friends for some of those reasons, but mainly, they are my friends because they are HONEST!! Honest to a fault....I mean, they flat tell it like it is! They do not aim to hurt my feelings, but if the honesty does hurt my feelings, that is just part of what happens when they are honest. I love them for this; sounds a little strange doesn't it? I know though when I ask them for advice, I am going to get advice straight from their hearts, not just what they think I want to hear.

So, dear friends, THANK YOU! YOU ROCK!!