Debbie's Blaahhg Spot!!

Summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime...

2011-05-03T12:22:00.003-05:00

As much as time seems to drag during the school year, it seems that once we hit April, the days fly by like kites in the wind! My students all did their best on the TAKS tests, and we are ALL glad to have those behind us. I feel so blessed to teach such amazing young men and women and to be able to watch not only their physical growth but also their mental and spiritual growth! I will miss my 8th graders!

We have only 4 weeks left! We are coasting to the finish line! Come on SUMMER!!

Top Ten Reasons Why.......

2011-04-04T15:00:00.004-05:00

Reasons why I love my friends like family:

10. If you have black ink on your face, they will tell you about it.......after you have taught at least one class with it on you.

9. If you forget your lunch, they will share theirs with you.

8. If you don't have money for lunch or a coke, they will give it to you.

7. If you are in a bad mood, they will say mean things to you until you laugh.

6. If you are sad, they ask you what is wrong, and they really want to hear the answer.

5. If they can do something to ease your sadness, they will.

4. They don't talk about you behind your back; they say it right to your face!

3. When you get nervous about ordering coffee at Ballyhoo because you think the ladies think you are stupid, they say you are imagining it, and then make fun of you every time you order.

2. When they say they love you they mean it!

1. When you ask for prayer, they pray without ceasing for you.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!

Hard Times

2011-03-06T15:23:00.004-06:00

Hard times...everyone has them...EVERYONE. Rich people, famous people, poor people, people that no one notices as they walk by.....hard times don't discriminate. I had a good friend tell me many years ago that she thought I was lucky....lucky because I was going through some hard times......WHAT? She explained: "When you experience difficulties, and you turn to God for help, He holds you in the palm of His hand. He is holding YOU now, and I envy you because you are so close to Him right now." She envied me? My pain, sadness, loneliness?
I have often thought about her statement through the years as I experienced various disappointments and sad situations in my life. I have come to realize that she was right; I am closer to God in my hard times, and I have tried hard lately to change that. By change I mean...I want that closeness with God all day, every day...not just when I am struggling. I feel Him now in my life no matter what is going on...whether I am laughing, crying, screaming, praying....He is here with me. He is teaching me that I can be content in ALL situations; He is showing me blessings around every corner; He is revealing to me a strength that I have always had, but never used. What a glorious feeling it is to know that I have ONE who will always be with me, no matter what I have done or said; ONE who rejoices when I declare my love for Him.
Hard times?? I would rather not have them, but if they come, I will not face them alone....

Needs...

2011-03-02T10:19:00.001-06:00

It has been so crazy at school lately. I need patience. I need encouragement. I need strength. I need to practice the saying, "Always be kinder than necessary."

Valentine's Day.....Ugh!

2011-01-30T18:38:00.002-06:00

I don't like Valentine's Day. I hate seeing all the cards and hearts and flowers and candy everywhere you go this time of year. I hate the ushy-gooshey commercials on TV. I hate mylar heart-shaped balloons. I hate Conversation Hearts Candy. I don't put up a Valentine's Day bulletin board in my classroom. I Don't Like Valentine's Day!!

You may think you know whey I don't like Valentine's Day....."Poor Debbie; she is single; no wonder she hates the day!" Negative, Ghost Rider! My extreme dislike for this day began long, long ago in a land far, far away.....

Those of you who are old enough have to remember what a big deal Valentine's Day was when we were in elementary school.....grade school it was called "back in the day." We worked for days creating amazingly artistic bags or boxes for our classmates to put our Valentines in. We had parties that lasted hours; we stuffed our faces with cupcakes and sugar cookies and chocolate candy from heart-shaped boxes. We played games and laughed and forgot about work for a day. I loved it!!

Then it happened, my extreme humiliation one Valentine's Day when I was in about fourth grade. William Lenart, my guy, my boyfriend....we were "going together".......broke my heart! At our annual party, he gave me a wonderfully decorated, homemade Valentine!! He had written a poem "from his heart" on it! I was thrilled; I was proud; I giggled; I beamed; I showed it off!! All of a sudden.....GASP!!! I see a Valentine EXACTLY LIKE MINE in the hands of the new little red-headed girl across the room!! (Yes, Ginger, she WAS red-headed!!) I was stunned; I was confused; I was saddened; I was embarrassed, but more than anything else, I was MAD!!! That low-down, dirty, cheatin' WILLIAM!! He wouldn't meet my gaze, but he knew I was boiling!!

The bell rang for recess, and I was ready! Our playgrounds back then weren't as sanitarilly childproofed as they are today....no fences, no whistles, not many rules.....and plenty of ROCKS!! I scoured the outskirts of the playground for the perfect one; finally pocketing a golf-ball sized beauty. William was by the basketball court with his buddies; they were all in a circle discussing what he had done. I slowly made my way to the circle; I stopped about 10 feet away and called his name, "WILLIAM LENART!!" He jumped and turned my way, meeting my burning gaze.....one of his buddies said something to him, and he turned his head sideways, giving me the perfect target! I chunked that rock as hard as I could hitting him upside of his stupid, cheating, head! WHACK!! He screamed and grabbed the side of his head....blood gushed.....he started crying.....teachers came running.....and I smiled.....

Mr. Coursey, my principal, had no compassion for me as he paddled me that day, but I knew that William Lenart would never break another girl's heart again without thinking of ME and that ROCK!!

So......I DON'T LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Goals

2011-01-10T11:14:00.002-06:00

This new year is already flying by it seems! I have new goals that include being more optimistic about my life and the situations I find myself in. I also have retained one goal from the past 2 years: I want a renewed relationship with my sons! You know what they say, "Third time is the charm!" Hopefully that will hold true for me and my sons this year!

Amazing Grace

2010-12-02T14:24:00.001-06:00

As we enter the Christmas Season, I would just like to say that I am completely in awe that God would send His one and only Son to Earth to save someone like me. Amazing Grace indeed! Thank you, Lord!

Be Grateful!

2010-10-10T14:57:00.003-05:00

Just a quick, short post to say: I am so thankful for my God, my sons and daughter-in-law, my friends...my life. I love you all. Life is too short to live it ungratefully.....

MercyMe - I Can Only Imagine

2010-09-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

Realizing What is Important

2010-09-03T20:39:00.002-05:00

I wasn't ready to go back to school this year. Not that I don't love teaching; I do!! Not that I don't love the people I work with: they are the BEST! It was a new curriculum that had me bawling like a baby at a meeting, staying up late at night with papers spread all over my living room floor, frowning at my students........C SCOPE!! UGH! I became a WHINER!! I became a PESSIMIST!! I went to school early; I stayed late!! I did not sleep well. Then.......
Leah Helm's husband, John, fell ill. I teach with Leah; she is an amazing teacher, friend, wife, mom, daughter, sister. He has an insane flesh-eating bacteria that has been spreading through his body like wildfire. He is literally fighting for his life. He has already lost a leg, and his kidneys are not functioning well. He has three amazing children and his first grandchild on the way. Suddenly, I felt small, petty and selfish. Suddenly, I wish C Scope was our, mine and Leah's, only problem.
Needless to say, I shut my mouth and hit my knees. Worksheets and TEKS and IFD's and YAG's became insignificant. Joining the fight in prayer for John became paramount. I have not stopped praying, and I hope if you have not begun to pray for John, you will make that beginning now.

Friends

2010-08-06T09:38:00.005-05:00

This post is dedicated to my friends; it is a "Shout Out" if you will to them to let them know how much their friendship means to me. I want them to know how I would not have made it through the past two years without them.

These are true friends who have called, texted, emailed, visited, sometimes even bullied me into remaining positive about life. They have walked across the street to sit with me while I cried hopelessly into the night. They have knocked on my door and refused to walk away even when I asked them to. They have Skyped with me and emailed me pages and pages of heartfelt text filled with scripture. They have prayed with me and for me. They have made me laugh at their stories and have filled my heart with such love and appreciation for them, my friends.

So to Ginger, Maria, Keely, Wendi, Marsha, Sharla, Carolyn, Connie, Nancy, Trina, Denese, Beverly, Shawn, Robin, Lydia, Melody, I say, THANK YOU! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Thank you, Lord, for my friends!

Tanner Wade Holder

2010-07-30T09:33:00.007-05:00

Twenty-six years ago today, my journey of motherhood began with you, my precious Tanner.

We lived in Gould, Oklahoma; I was teaching at Hollis Junior High, and your daddy was a loan officer at the bank...known then as First State Bank. We lived next door to Phil and Debbi Estes, our best friends at the time. My water broke at 5:15 a.m., and your daddy went a little crazy! You see, we had a fishing boat that he had hitched up to his pick up, and he thought we had to take the pick up to the hospital..who knows why? Anyway, after I had called Debbi to get her confirmation that I indeed should go to the hospital, your daddy ran outside in his robe to unhitch the boat! I remember looking out the front picture window, and he was flying around out there like the crazy man out of Back to the Future! His robe was open, and he was running around the trailer unhooking things!

Despite all of that craziness, we indeed did make it to the hospital...with plenty of time to spare! You see, you weren't quite ready to enter the world; it took us a little over 21 hours to convince you that it was time to meet all of the wonderful people you now call family. Your daddy was so nervous at one point, that he sat down and said HIS stomach was hurting!! I remember saying some not too nice words to him about that! Ha!

I had not had a sonogram that is so popular today, so we had no clue whether we were having a boy or a girl. When you finally made your appearance, you had so much long, dark hair, we weren't really sure at first. But, lo and behold, "It's a Boy!" the doctor announced! They held you up, and you stole my heart! One of the proudest, happiest moments of my life!

I didn't think it would be possible to love you more than I did at that point, but it is. I love you now with a love born of pride, happiness, pain and sorrow. I have watched you grow into an amazing young man with an unbelievable future. We have not been close these past few years because some of the choices I made in my life hurt you, but my love for you has never wavered.
You stole my heart the day you took your first breath, and you still have it today. I am proud of the man you have become, and you will always be my baby boy. I love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Back To What???

2010-07-28T23:28:00.002-05:00

Three words most educators dread: Back To School! Add to that two more words that a lot are learning to dread: New Technology!

This week I was faced with all FIVE of the "dreaded" words!! I was excited to see my school buddies, but like my students, not so excited about the work involved. At the very least, I was overwhelmed with the new technology the first day. I found myself compiling a list in my head of what I could do to support myself besides teach: bodyguard, ninja, hairstylist, sarcastic joke writer......?? Needless to say, none of these other vocations sounded very appealing.

Thankfully, by day 2 of the training, I found my sea legs thanks to some awesome presenters and my co-workers who beat me into submission! Not really...I mean not really about the beating....they just were very positive and promised tons of H-E-L-P!! Which I am sure I will need.

So, like it or not.......Here we go!! I am ready!

Be the change you want to see in the world.

I Used Everything You Gave Me.......

2010-06-11T14:35:00.002-05:00

I miss my sons; that is evident to anyone who knows me and even to some who don't know me that well. I can put my emotions on a sort of "cruise control" most of the time when I am in public, and I do this for 2 reasons: 1) to be able to make it through my day 2) so that I do not make those around me uncomfortable.

Lately, this has become increasingly difficult for me to do, especially this past week. It has been over two years now, and my ability to conceal my hurt, disappointment, loss of hope has been non-existent this week. It all started at church with a simple little song. The floodgates opened, and I openly cried off and on throughout the service. Thank goodness for Carolyn and Sierra Vela who were there by me and kept me supplied with Kleenex and hugs! I have tried to get my emotions back under control, but with no luck. Every day this past week has found me in tears at least once a day. My faith trembled a little; I lost my hope a little; I started wondering if God really listened to me a little....

Today, God shouted to me in my pain, and I heard! A great friend of mine had shared with me how she had told her husband, "I am going to open the Bible to a random spot, and the chapter of the Bible that it opens to will describe our marriage." She went on to share that the chapter revealed was Ecclesiastes 4:9-ff:

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

¹⁰ If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.

What a testament about their marriage! So, this morning I thought, "Let's see what God has for me." Well, He didn't have anything for me!! Imagine that! Oh, my Bible opened alright, but the passage did not speak to me as I had hoped...I was disappointed, discouraged, a little bit angry.

Later this morning as I was surfing around on Facebook, I decided to change my status. I went to this little tool I have called "Status Shuffle" just to see what it had. The first thing that popped up was,

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I could say, "I used everything you gave me."

Wow! I thought, have I been using everything He has given me, or have I been wallowing in pity and doubt? What all has He given me? Life, health, salvation, unconditional love....He gave those to me. What tools do I have to use? Faith, friends, prayer, witnessing power.....I instantly felt empowered, renewed, strong once again!! Thank you, God!

I used everything you gave me!

Summer Hiatus!!

2010-06-02T15:10:00.001-05:00

Okay, gang! I am going to take a break from blogging for a while. Summertime is upon us, and I love to be out and about...especially working in my yard. I pray that summer is good to you all!!

Summer!!!!!

2010-05-13T10:43:00.002-05:00

I don't know about my other teacher friends, but I am Sooo Ready for summertime!! It is not that my students are bad, loud, ornery or anything like that...I am just T-I-R-E-D!! I guess it is old age or something. I have NEVER been this ready for summer to roll around.

My students know this too! I have been told a lot lately that I have been giving them, "the look." I even had a student sneak a pic of me giving "the look" and place it in his memory book that we are working on in class! Wow!

C'mon Summertime!!!

Feelin' Sorry for Myself........

2010-05-06T14:35:00.006-05:00

I am good at feeling sorry for myself. I think we all are at one time or another, but lately, I have mastered that feeling. It is not a good feeling; it steals my joy; it steals my laughter; it steals my sleep; it steals my peace; it removes me a little from my God.

Yesterday, God grabbed me by my collar and whipped me around to face some cold, harsh realities in my life. Yesterday a friend of mine, and I feel so blessed to call him friend, this friend Trey Morgan started a fund-raising ball rolling to help people at the Teguciglapa Dump in the Honduras. I had previously watched the Dump Video, and it shocked and saddened me. I found myself literally holding my breath at the end of the video. I followed the progress on his blog. I was amazed at the generosity demonstrated hour after hour. Small children giving up allowances, birthday money, ice cream money. Families donating income tax refund money. No amount was too small or too big.

"See?" God said. "Are your troubles so big now?" No, no they weren't; no, no they AREN'T!! So what if I do not see my sons with my eyes? I see them in my memory. I might not hold them in my arms, but I hold them in my heart. They have homes; they are healthy; they have 3 good meals a day...probably more!! They are blessed! I AM BLESSED!! God sighed, and then he smiled......"Do what good you can with what you have where you are, child." AMEN!!

Mother's Day

2010-04-28T11:51:00.002-05:00

Dear Tanner, Tyler, Tara and Rachel,

I love you all and miss you dearly. Even though these past two years have been the most difficult of my life, I thank God every day for you and pray for your health and happiness! I could spend the approaching holiday of Mother's Day crying for the lost years with you, my dear children, but I choose to spend it another way. I choose to celebrate the fact that I have such wonderful sons who have such wonderful women in their lives. I choose to be thankful that my children are alive and well. I choose to remember the day of each of your births when I held you for the first time in my arms, knowing that I would hold you in my heart forever. I send you all of my love.......MOM

He Hears Me....

2010-04-14T10:31:00.003-05:00

I love this time of the year!! I love to work in the yard, dig in the soil, plant things. This is such a balm to my body and soul. No matter what happens during the day, a trip to my garden to plant something, to linger beside a rose bush inhaling its sweet scent......all are uplifting to me!!

I still miss my children, and they are in my prayers all day long. I know God hears my prayers; He shows me that He hears them by the beauty I find myself surrounded with at this time of the year.

The Loves of My Life!!!!

2010-04-05T18:50:00.002-05:00

I love my sons and daughter-in-law unconditionally! I praise God every day that they are healthy, and I pray for their protection and happiness!!

Thank you!!

2010-04-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

He died for us!! Thank you, Lord Jesus!

Spring-a-WHAT????

2010-03-22T10:24:00.003-05:00

Wow! Spring Break flew by, didn't it? I have to admit, I was not looking forward to the break this year. On my agenda for the week was keeping the children of my significant other: a 4-year old boy and a 7-year old girl!! I am literally old enough to be their grandmother, and I am not looking to be anyone's step-mom either! So, as you might guess, I was not approaching the week with glee.

All in all though, we had a great time! The unconditional love of a small child is amazing. When young, children depend on adults for so much....and I am talking about things that go beyond, "Can you get me a drink?" "Will you play this game with me?" and the ever-popular wail from the bathroom, "I'm doonnne!" I am referring to comfort, praise, discipline, LOVE! These little ones watch you like hawks, imitating, learning, absorbing. It astounded me what they learned this week from some of the games we played and from that dang Dora the Explorer and her crazy backpack, backpack, backpack!!! When I thought I was at the end of my patience mentally and physically, up one of them would climb into my lap, and my heart would melt! A God-thing, I am sure! It was time well-spent.

At the end of the week I traveled to Dallas to meet up with some high school girlfriends! We had planned this trip for months, and I was very excited! We talked, sang, laughed, shouted, cried, shared.......I learned things about them that I never would have imagined, and I suppose they felt the same way about me. We realized why we 4 are so drawn to one another; many of our childhoods were scarily similar. I was so tired when I got home yesterday, but I would not have missed it for the world.

In the end, the break was exactly as God meant it to be for me: a time of reflection; a time to realize what things I must let go of; a time to be so thankful for the things that I do have.

Pleasantly Surprised....

2010-03-11T11:18:00.006-06:00

I was killing some time the other day and went browsing through my IPhoto pics on my Mac. I found these pictures of one of the sweetest girls I know. I remembered one day/night when she and I spent some time together, and I guess she took them at that time. They made me smile; hope they do you too!!

I Miss You.....

2010-03-01T16:56:00.002-06:00

Are you Comfortable?

2010-02-16T14:25:00.003-06:00

This is a blog post I saw on one of my favorite blog pages, and I adapted it to make it my own.

I am “UNcomfortable” in winter.

The water has to run longer while I wait for my shower to warm up. I shiver until the Jeep heats up enough to blast that warm air on me. I have to wear wooly winter socks when I prefer to be barefoot. I’m a vitamin D kind of gal. I LOVE the sunshine and in the winter it deliberately seems to hide.

To be honest, I’m just not as “comfortable” in the winter.

I know that winter is not always comfortable, and yet it’s often in winter where unknown treasures lie and only in “uncomfortable” circumstances, when all is stripped away, can they be revealed.

I was reminded of this just the other day. As we were traveling on a country road that I’ve driven a number of times, I noticed out my window, a lake. A lake that had revealed herself through the naked trees. A lake that I’d never noticed before. A gorgeous lake.

Isn’t that just like winter?

Just like winter to reveal something hidden; something that’s always been there, just hidden behind the layers that camouflage.

Isn’t that just like God?

He has done it a number of times in my own life. He’s used an uncomfortable “winter season” of my life to reveal something that was there all along, but hidden. Hidden away, waiting for the Lord to strip away the layers that camouflage to reveal what He needed to expose. My winter.

I don’t know about you, but I often exist selfishly, seeking comfortable circumstances.

Thankfully there are times that God says, “no,” or “not now.” He purposely moves me into my own spiritual winter. It’s a bitter cold season of life where comforts cease to exist.

It’s clearly not comfortable.

It’s not meant to be.

It’s often downright painful, and if you are like me, you try to resist it. You try to ignore it, running as fast as you can in the other direction. You try with all your might to pull the wool hat over your eyes, but He won’t let you. You see He has revealing to do. Exposing what’s been hidden for far too long.

Just as it’s comforting to know without a doubt that winter inevitably moves into spring, my spirit is comforted and assured by these words,

“Be truly glad!” There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold….So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus is revealed to the whole world.”
1 Peter 1:6-7

I am learning to embrace the uncomfortable. Learning that allowing the Lord to expose what has been camouflaged for far too long is a gift. It’s a gift in this uncomfortable winter.

Amazing. It’s in my spiritual winters, just as in the cold, winter season that He allows me to see what He sees, that which has been hidden for far too long.

Isn’t that just like God?

Happy Valentine's Day Tanner, Tyler, Tara and Rachael

2010-02-09T11:53:00.004-06:00

Just want my children to know they are LOVED!!

Darkness and the Scars of Life

2010-02-03T14:16:00.003-06:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Nelson Mandela)

I love this quote from Mandela. I first heard this quote in the movie, "Coach Carter." Samuel L. Jackson's character was trying to teach his basketball players to not be afraid to succeed. I love that movie, and I identify with this quote.

It seems like I have lived my life being afraid of "my darkness." My failures in life are varied and abundant and stare me in the face most days. I have hurt the ones I love the most in my life with these failures; I have damaged my relationship with my sons and with two husbands, one of whom was the love of my life. I have withdrawn into myself and sunk into caverns so deep that I was afraid I would never be able to rise again.

However, rise again I did, time after time after time. You see, my sweet Savior loves me too much to leave me behind. He wants me with him even though I have failed time after time. He wants me to be in the light with Him. He drags me out of the darkness. He does this no matter how much I have hurt Him, and make no mistake about it, I HAVE hurt Him.

That is how much I love my sons. I love them too much to leave them behind, too much to give up on them, too much to imagine my life without them. I would gladly suffer anything to have them back in my life. I wait......and I know God will take care of me because He always has.

My dear sons.....I love you too much to let you go.....

SCARS OF LIFE
Some years ago,
on a hot summer day
in South Florida ,
a little boy decided to go
for a swim in the old swimming
hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into
the cool water,
he ran out the back door,
leaving behind shoes, socks,
and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water,
not realizing that as he swam
toward the middle of the lake,
an alligator was swimming toward the shore..

His father, working in the yard,
saw the two as they got closer and closer together.

In utter fear,
he ran toward the water,
yelling to his son as loudly
as he could.

Hearing his voice,
the little boy became alarmed
and made a U-turn
to swim to his father.
It was too late.
Just as he reached his father,
the alligator reached him.

From the dock,
the father grabbed his little
boy by the arms
just as the alligator snatched his legs.
That began an incredible
tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father,
but the father was much
too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by,
heard his screams,
raced from his truck,
took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks
in the hospital,
the little boy survived.
His legs were extremely scarred
by the vicious attack
of the animal.

And, on his arms,
were deep scratches
where his father's fingernails
dug into his flesh in his effort
to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter
who interviewed the boy
after the trauma,
asked if he would
show him his scars.
The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride,
he said to the reporter,
'But look at my arms.
I have great scars
on my arms, too.
I have them because
my Dad wouldn't let go.'

You and I can identify
with that little boy.
We have scars, too.
No, not from an alligator,
but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars
are unsightly and have
caused us deep regret.
But, some wounds,
my friend,
are because God has refused
to let go.
In the midst of your struggle, God's been there
holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that
God loves you.
You are a child of God.
God wants to protect you
and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life
is filled with peril -
and we forget
that the enemy is waiting
to attack.
That's when the tug-of-war begins
- and if you have
the scars of God's love
on your arms,
be very, very grateful.
God did not and will not ever let you go.

Ice Storm 2010

2010-02-01T10:42:00.002-06:00

While the beauty of the 2010 Icestorm is unquestionable, it has brought discomfort and worry to many. My son, Tanner, and his wife, Tara, live in Oklahoma. They are among the thousands of people that have been without power since last Wednesday. Thankfully, they do have a generator, but a generator does not fix all power outage problems. Altus, the closest town of any size, has been devastated by the storm. WalMart is the only major store up and running, and it's supplies have been depleted. Things that we take for granted such as food, hot water, gas, are virtually non-existent for some. I am worried about my son and his wife. I have texted him to let him know that my home, HIS home, is open to them. I miss them; I love them; please pray for them.

2010 Getting to Know Your Friends!!

2010-01-27T18:29:00.003-06:00

I know we have all played this in the past, but it will be fun to do it again!! If you are tagged at the end of this post, copy and paste this into your blog and change the answers to make them yours!!! :) If you are not tagged, it is not because I don't love you--I just figured you would not play along! ;)

Hope you have fun getting to know me a little better and then sharing yourself with others!!!

* 1. What is your occupation right now? English teacher

*2. What color are your socks right now? Black

*3. What are you listening to right now? News Channel 10 Weather

*4. What was the last thing that you ate? A pecan pinwheel..ya know...LITTLE DEBBIE??!! LOL!

* 5. Can you drive a stick shift? Oh yeah!

*6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? RD

*7. Do you like the person who tagged you? Oh yes! Love her and her entire family!

*8. How old are you today? 48 years old

*9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Football!!!

*10. What is your favorite drink? RC Cola

*11. Have you ever dyed your hair? LOL! That's a joke, right??

*12. Favorite food? Steak!!

*13. What is the last movie you watched? 2012

*14. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Day

*15. How do you vent anger? I clean house if it is cold outside; if it is nice outside, I dig in the dirt!!

*16. What was your favorite toy as a child? A Dancerina ballerina doll

*17. What is your favorite thing to do this season? Stay inside underneath a blanket and read a good book or watch a good movie.

*18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries

*19. Do you want your friends to participate? Yes!

*20. Who is the most likely to participate? Ginger??

*21. Who is most likely not to participate? Not sure

*23. When was the last time you cried? Monday

*24. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes

*25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are tagging?Umm.....Melissa!!

*26. What did you do last night? Took Nyquil and slept!!

* 27. What are you most afraid of? My children being hurt

*28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese please

*29. Favorite dog breed? I don't really have a fav! I have a Schnauzer named Harley right now, and he is KOOL!

*30. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

*31. How many states have you lived in? 3

*32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girl's best friend.....

*33. What is your favorite flower? Daisy

And here are some that Amanda added:

*34. Besides the Bible, what is the best book you have ever read? Of Mice and Men

*35. What is something you would like to change about yourself? My inability to forgive myself

*36. What is something interesting that most people don't know about you? I have a tattoo

*37. What is something you try very hard to do each and every day? Thank God for at least one good thing that happened that day.

*38. If you could trade places with anyone in the world for the next 24 hours, who would it be? My sons' father..because he gets to see my boys and I don't.

*39. What is your dream job? I am living it! Being a teacher!

*40. Why do I always think I need to make a questionnaire come out on an even number? :)

Ok...so if I tagged you, play along!!

Amanda, Ginger, Melissa, Keely, Maria

The Happiness Project!!

2010-01-20T18:02:00.003-06:00

Two good friends of mine have made me aware of The Happiness Project. I have decided that I NEED THIS!! Doesn't everyone want to be happy?
Ask yourself: what would make you happier? Cleaner closets, less yelling, more fun? Make it happen in 2010! I know I plan to! This is not only a book, but it is also a lifestyle. It takes only 1 year to change your life and the lives of those around you for the better!

This week's challenge is to TOSS & ORGANIZE. It's a proven fact that we ALL feel better when everything is clean - start small so things aren't so overwhelming. I know that is one of my biggest faults - "stopping before I get started" because of the size of the "mess"! I'm learning to start small and working in piles or areas!

Today, I cleaned off a counter in my kitchen that had begun to be a "drop spot" for all sorts of junk. It took only about 30 minutes, but it made such a big difference in my kitchen! I am proud! It really did make me HAPPY! Whoo Hoo!

For more information on this project, visit Melissa Vannoy's blog, Keely Tippett's blog or log on to http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/the-happiness-project-book.html

A Life-Changing Decision

2010-01-08T14:46:00.003-06:00

Okay! Today I made the commitment! A big one....THE BIG ONE!! Drum roll please..........................

I have joined The Biggest Loser Contest at my school campus! Yes! I am ready to shed these extra pounds. As some of you may know, I had knee replacement surgery this summer. While I no longer have the constant pain I once had, I still suffer from some pain in BOTH knees. I know this is because of the extra baggage that my knees are having to support. I know that I will feel better if I can lose some weight, and the best thing is, I am not in this alone!

What? Are you disappointed? Did you think I was getting married or something? I want to LOSE WEIGHT remember.......LOL!

So...wish me luck!

Oysters

2009-12-31T10:39:00.003-06:00

As I was going through one of my many daily Bible readings today, I came across something that I know God intended for me, right now, as I start a new year. It went something like this:

An oyster is a very curious creature. When bothered by irritants, it tries to rid itself of them, but it is not always successful. However, the oyster does not give up. When the irritants cannot be banished, the oyster does a most amazing thing, it makes a pearl. It coats over those irritants day after day, until the rough edges are smooth and something beautiful now sits where the irritants once were. When we are troubled by our irritants, we need to imitate the oyster. We need to make pearls! They may have to be pearls of patience as we wait on things in our lives to pass away or to come to pass, but they will still be pearls. Most importantly, we will have God beside us throughout the entire process.

So, my dear friends, as I begin this new year, I choose to imitate the oyster. I am going to make pearls out of those things that I cannot rid myself of....all the while smiling up at God..the ultimate Pearl Maker. After all, look what He did with me!

Happy New Year!

Happy New year!

2009-12-29T20:55:00.001-06:00

My wish for all of my friends and family is a joyous, peaceful, thankful New Year!

A Season of Hope

2009-12-12T11:37:00.003-06:00

Hopefully.........hopefully I will get the best gift I could ever wish for and get to see my sons this Christmas. However, if that does not happen, I will still be blessed by knowing that they are alive, well and happy.

I love this time of year because it is the one time of year when people seem to lay aside their grievances and be tolerant and loving of one another....forgiving one another.....caring for one another.

So.....hopefully fills my heart for now as I remember the precious Christ child who was born, lived and died for me.

Merry CHRISTmas to all!!

What Do I Have to Be Thankful For?

2009-11-24T17:15:00.004-06:00

I am sure there are people that look at my life and wonder, "What in the world does she possibly have to be thankful for?" Truthfully, there have been many times in the past year and a half that I have asked myself that same question.

My sons and I have not had a relationship in the past year and a half. I email, text and snail mail them, but I don't receive any response. Before you feel sorry for me and judge them, know that the situation is all my fault. I do miss them horribly, pray for them daily, love them unendingly.

My mother has been gone for 3 years now, and I miss her so much. I take comfort in the fact that she is no longer in any pain. My father was always very abusive of my mother, myself and my oldest sister; I do not have any contact with him. My sisters and their families all live in Florida; I last saw them 2 years ago.

So, what DO I have to be thankful for? Let me tell you: I thank my gracious God each and every day that although I do not see my sons and my daughter-in-law, they are all alive, healthy, happy and productive adults. I have some dear friends whose children are no longer alive, and I feel blessed that mine are.

While I am without blood family here in town, I have more family than you can possibly imagine. God certainly knew what He was doing when He brought me to Childress. I work with the most amazing people in the world, and they really do care about me. When they ask me how I am doing, they actually ARE interested in my response. My church family is kind, gracious, forgiving and loving. I have been uplifted in prayer so many times in my life by this awesome group.

I have children that I did not give birth to, but they are mine all the same. Craig, Misty, Cooper and Keagan Sides are just as much my children and grandchildren as if we shared the same blood. I love them more than I ever thought was possible, and they love me right back no matter how damaged I am. When Cooper wraps his arms around my neck, says "Hi Dede," or "Later Gator," my heart overflows with more love than I thought it was ever possible to feel. Cory, Kara, Katie and Camrie B. also hold a special place in my heart as do Jarod, Nicole, Blaven and Owen Dill. I receive unconditional love from these families, and I thank God every day for bringing such blessings into my life.

So, you see, I AM blessed; I DO have many things to be thankful for!! First and foremost though, I am thankful that I serve a mercifully forgiving God who takes me as I am and molds me into something more! I love you all; HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Does It Really Make a Difference???

2009-10-19T15:13:00.004-05:00

Does it REALLY make a difference when......

.......I say "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" to my classes as I come into the room?

....... I smile as I say hello to my co-workers?

.......I wave to my neighbors as I drive by?

.......I pick up that piece of trash in my neighbors yard?

.......I go to church every Sunday?

.......I text my sons once a week that I love them even though they do not respond?

.......I compliment my students on their work, clothes, hair, performance?

.......I scold my students, but end the conversation by telling them that I do it because I care?

.......I end each day with a prayer thanking God for my blessings and asking that he continue?

.......I begin each day thanking God for giving me another day to be what I know He wants me to be?

What do you think??

James 3:13-18 (NIV)
"Who is wise and understanding among you?
Let him show it by his good life,
by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

This Trick or Treater Not Welcome At My House!!

2009-10-15T15:01:00.003-05:00

Satan sure has been knocking at my door a lot lately. He has disguised himself as a failed relationship, as an angry, disrespectful son, and now he has come knocking in the form of "precancerous cells." I guess he is taking full advantage of all disguises since Halloween is approaching.

One thing he does not realize though is that I am not the same person I was a year or two ago. I refuse to readily open my soul to all of the misgivings, worry and pain that he brings with him. I have a security guard that helps me recognize and turn away all that is intended for harm to me. I may falter for a second, but then I feel a strong hand on my shoulder, and look up into the honest eyes of my Lord. He gives me the strength and confidence to boldly walk away from the door....leaving it locked against Satan's attacks. I thank God every day for being my guard and for loving me in spite of who I am.

I can do all things through Jesus Christ who loves ME!

Hello Charlie Brown!!!

2009-10-03T06:25:00.003-05:00

My favorite time of year is here....FALL! I love it! Sweater weather! Caramel apple weather! Football weather! The whole world looks as if God dipped His paintbrush in vibrant reds, yellows and oranges! The mornings are crisp and bright, and at night the skies are so clear you can see millions of stars! I love to walk through the leaves, kicking them as I go. When I was younger, I would pile up the leaves like Charlie Brown and run and jump in them! Aaahhh!!! Thank you, God for another season of change! Did I mention caramel apples????!!!!

What Do You Do When That Happens?

2009-09-22T20:44:00.003-05:00

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could taste it? You struggle and you strive and do everything you know to do to make that want a reality? However, just when you think you are about to achieve your goal, BAM!! Everything seems to be in shreds again! What do you do when that happens?

As many of you know, this past year and a half has not been a good one for my sons and me. I have made many mistakes in my past, and I made one that affected them directly. They withdrew from me, and I cannot say that I blame them.

I have spent this time dedicating myself to becoming better: a better person, a better teacher, a better friend, a better Christian, a better sister, a better mother. I have given them space to heal and find forgiveness. I have texted, emailed, voice-mailed, snail-mailed. I have kept up with their lives with the help of their father and some very good friends. I have not forgotten birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. I have made sure that they know I love them and will continue to love them no matter what.

Unfortunately, an incident occurred this past week that was my "BAM!" for my relationship with my sweet sons, and I reacted exactly the way Satan wanted me to. I raged and railed at God for allowing the situation. I withdrew from Him; told Him I had no faith in Him. As I lay crumpled, broken, sobbing, it was like God spoke to me. I AM RIGHT HERE.. I realized that He had never left me, and He had not caused the situation. He allowed the situation because I needed to realize something. I needed to understand that the important thing in my life was not whether people forgave me my mistakes, but whether He forgave me my mistakes. I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU! Yes, yes God you have!! A weight fell away; I stood tall, breathing the deep breaths of a mercifully forgiven sinner! You see, I will not allow myself to be separated from my Savior!

I love my Lord, and I know He has a plan for my life. I will worship Him and serve Him while I am waiting.......God is Good!

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

2009-08-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

Have you ever thought about why you have the friends that you do? I mean, are they your friends because they support all that you say and do? Are they your friends because they have the same taste in clothes, food and movies as you do?

My friends are my friends for some of those reasons, but mainly, they are my friends because they are HONEST!! Honest to a fault....I mean, they flat tell it like it is! They do not aim to hurt my feelings, but if the honesty does hurt my feelings, that is just part of what happens when they are honest. I love them for this; sounds a little strange doesn't it? I know though when I ask them for advice, I am going to get advice straight from their hearts, not just what they think I want to hear.

So, dear friends, THANK YOU! YOU ROCK!!

WELCOME BACK!!

2009-08-13T15:40:00.003-05:00

Well, some friends and I tried staying up all night long the night before the WTAC meetings in Floydada to see if that would make summer last longer, but unfortunately, the only result was extreme sleepiness at the meetings! So, a new school year is indeed upon us!

I look forward to this new year because I work with the best people in the world at Childress Junior High. My peers are always there to help with a problem, listen to a complaint, laugh at a joke. Some of my friends (Stacey, Ron, Rice, Wesley) simply make fun of me and whoever else they can whenever they get that chance, but I wouldn't work anywhere else for the world!

So, as I continue to prepare myself for this new school year, I would like to wish all of my friends who also work in education a great 2009-2010 school year. Bring on the students!!

Break Time

2009-07-20T15:40:00.002-05:00

Taking a break from blogging for a while. Not much is going on besides rehab of my bionic knee and gardening. Hope you all have a great rest of the summer!!!

Ouch!

2009-07-08T10:23:00.002-05:00

I had total knee replacement surgery a little over a week ago. As excited as I was about this (yes, I said excited because I have been in pain for over 3 years) I still nearly called it off.

This past week has been a real learning experience for me. I have learned how to maneuver around my house with my walker in some quite ingenious ways. I have learned that looking down at what looks like my leg and feels like my leg but does not respond like my leg and screaming at it does not make it cooperate! I have learned that while my physical therapists may seem mean, they are pushing me because they know I can and want me to do better. I have learned that I have the most amazing people in the world surrounding me in my life right now.

So, I would like to say a big THANK YOU! to everyone who has been here for me during this process. I love you all!

30 Years

2009-06-24T08:04:00.003-05:00

It is hard to believe that I graduated from high school 30 years ago! Wow! Do I feel old! This weekend my former classmates and I will all gather in Altus to celebrate our successes, laugh over our missteps and mourn our losses. I must say, I am excited about the gathering. I have not been to a reunion in 15 years, (we have them every 5) and there are friends that I have not seen since then, and some I have not seen since graduation!! The town of Altus has no idea what is fixing to hit it! Ha!

Standing in the Gap

2009-06-10T23:17:00.002-05:00

It has been an awesome week at VBS!! I am assisting in the 4th grade class, and we have some amazing young boys and girls!

Today we had our "A B C" lesson: Admit, Believe, Confess! We discussed what it meant that Jesus took all of OUR sins upon himself and died on the cross for us. He suffered shame, sadness and pain in order that we might be spared from that suffering. He stood in the gap for us!

I have a friend who recently stood in the gap for me without having to be asked; she just saw a need that I had in my life, and she stood in the gap to help fulfill that need in my life. This made me think: have I stood in the gap for anyone lately? Have you?

I thank my God every day that he provided Jesus to stand in the gap for me...and for you! God is good.

I Hate Summer!!!

2009-06-04T19:08:00.003-05:00

Now that I have your attention with my title, please read on.....

Summer is upon us! I know that all of my teacher friends have heaved a huge sigh of relief at the opportunity to relax, rest and regroup! As some of you know, I am really not a huge fan of summer lately. (Please don't come TP my house or something!) The last several summers have not been very good for me: I lost my sweet mother; my little nephew nearly died; my sons and I have lost touch. Therefore, as the school year drew to a close, I was filled with a sense of dread at the long, lonely days that stretched before me. I have done absolutely NOTHING all week except sit around withdrawing into my gloomy self, becoming increasingly depressed.

However, about an hour or so ago as I was walking through my bedroom, I bumped into my nightstand (Yes, I am that graceful!) and a book that I had there fell to the floor. This is a book titled, The One Year Walk With God given to me by a very dear friend earlier this year. It fell open to the following: "A Place of Rest. We are easily caught up in anxious thoughts. Anxiety can keep us thinking obsessively about a problem, occupying all of our time and energy and stealing our joy in life. We pray about the situation and ask God to intervene, but we do not let it go all of the way. Paul gives us wise advice; in fact, it is a command: Do not be anxious about anything. How can we follow this and let the peace sink into our hearts in the midst of a difficult problem? By praying with thanksgiving and full trust that the problem is God's. It seems scary to relinquish control, but we need to realize that we were never really in control anyway. Let go of your will, and let your heart and mind be at peace."

Wow! I immediately bowed my head and apologized to God for not trusting Him enough to completely give my problems to Him. I told Him that I wanted to know the peace and joy that comes from a complete faith that He is working on my behalf. I thanked him for the wonders that He has brought to pass in my life and for the miracles that are yet to come. A calm washed over me; a joy filled my heart. I took a deep breath and knew that THIS SUMMER was going to be different! I know that it may not be everything that I want it to be, but I am without a doubt that it will be everything that GOD wants it to be!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

Back in the Day.....

2009-06-02T08:20:00.004-05:00

My high school reunion is at the end of this month, and some friends and I have reconnected via Facebook. What memories we have been sifting through! In "honor" of that, here are some pics of some of my best buddies and me "back in the day!" (Please don't laugh too hard!)

I See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel....I Just Hope It's Not A Train!!!

2009-05-27T13:35:00.003-05:00

Wow! This school year flew by so quickly! I cannot believe it! I have to say that I am relieved; I have had an eventful year. First year back in Childress teaching, first year at Childress Junior High; first year spent without seeing my sons.

As for the school part, I have absolutely loved it! I have never taught with a more caring, compassionate, highly qualified in EVERY way staff! The focus all year has been on what is best for our students, and each and every person in the building was committed to helping our students advance no matter what we had to undertake as a staff. I will miss my 8th graders. They are a fine group of talented young men and women, and the high school staff is lucky to have them under their guidance the next 4 years.

As for my sons, I have a strong faith in God that my relationship with them will be healed. I love them deeply and miss them more than words can explain. I pray for them each morning, and I know that God is watching over them for me.

So, that being said, LET SUMMER BEGIN!!!

Our Bands Rawk!!

2009-05-12T21:58:00.003-05:00

Wow! I have not been to a band concert in a looonngg time!! My room is right across from the auditorium; therefore, I have had the privilege to listen to not only the junior high band practice, but also the high school band. I knew I had to go tonight to hear the finished product! I was blown away! Our kids are awesome!

The sixth graders started us off; there were a bunch of them! So good to see the numbers building back up! They played "Old Wisconsin." Mrs. Wadley and I recognized it right away as the fight song of our high school alma mater Altus High School. "Altus Bulldogs, Altus Bulldogs..."

Seventh and eighth graders were next. I love those kids! Their music was upbeat; found myself tapping my feet and nodding my head! The drums really were great! "Phantom of the Opera" was my favorite here; closed my eyes and saw the scene in my head!

Then the Big Blue Band from Bobcat Land! Mr. Currie still is magical. The music he played with the high school band, "Exodus," brought tears to my eyes! Pirates of the Caribbean!!! YES!! Another favorite of mine; just ask Mrs. Larned! She thought I got way too excited about it!

The best was yet to come, but dash it all; the storm cut the concert short! I wish we could find a time to hear the last few selections; I know they were going to be great! Great job Mr. Evans, Mr. Currie and students! You made us all proud!!

Photostory Friday!!

2009-05-08T13:32:00.002-05:00

My reading students rock! I am so proud of the accomplishments they have made this school year. The best thing: THEY ALL PASSED TAKS READING!!! Whoo Hoo!

In this pic we have Al Yacoub, Kimberly Crisp, Dominique Stewart and Devin Bushell. I asked them what they wanted to do now that TAKS was over, and they wanted to read to elementary students! Did I already say that my reading students rock??!!

My Time, Not Yours

2009-05-07T14:55:00.002-05:00

I had a horrible afternoon yesterday. Those of you who are close to me know the details. It was the second time in 2 weeks that I have gone through a storm emotionally. I asked my friends for prayer, both my friends here in Childress as well as my high school classmates that I have reconnected with through Facebook. The response I received was amazing! I truly am blessed with the best friends in the whole world!

I talked to God too. I pleaded; I cried; I screamed; I succumbed. I gave up and gave in. This morning I still was angry with God. Did you know that it is okay to be angry with Him? I gave him my, "I just don't know what else I can do!" speech. He was silent. I told him, "Why did you let me get this close only to be disappointed?" He was silent. I asked, "You don't really care about what I am going through do you?" He answered; seriously. I heard His words in my head just as clearly as if He had been standing right beside me. He said, "Do you think I don't know what it is like to be without a child? Do you think I don't know how it feels to see your child but not be able to hold him? I answered two of your requests. Your child came home, and you could smell him!" I bowed my head; the tears fell; I raised my eyes to heaven. "I'm sorry," I said. "I love you," He said. "Thank you," I said. "My time not yours," He said.

God is good.

Difficult Times

2009-05-06T09:44:00.003-05:00

Rejoice in the Difficult Times

I am using an email that I receive daily for my post today. I feel like it was written just for me. Maybe it is written for you too!

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation" (Romans 5:3-4, NLT).

Did you know that the way you handle your adversities has a huge impact on your success in life? If you shrink back, choose to get bitter, and lose your enthusiasm, then you are allowing the difficulties of life to bury you. You are allowing hardship to keep you from your God–given destiny. But if you choose to keep pressing forward with a smile on your face, rejoicing even in the hard times, you are allowing God´s character to be developed inside of you. You are setting yourself up for promotion.
Did you know that the only difference between a piece of black coal and a priceless diamond is the amount of pressure that it´s endured? When you stand strong in the midst of the trials and difficulties in life, when you allow God to shape and mold your character, it´s like going from a piece of coal to a priceless diamond. Those difficulties are going to give way to new growth, new potential, new talent, new friendships, new opportunities, new vision. You´re going to see God develop your life in ways that you´ve never even dreamed!

Father in heaven, thank You for giving me strength to overcome every obstacle in life. I choose to rejoice no matter what may come against me because I know You are working all things together for my good. Thank You for developing Your character in me. In Jesus´ Name. Amen.

BEFORE AND AFTER!!!

2009-05-04T08:52:00.002-05:00

BEFORE TAKS

AFTER TAKS

EIGHT!!

2009-04-30T20:44:00.004-05:00

Ugh! I was tagged by Lana, and I hate to let her down, so here goes!!

The rules are:
1. Mention the person that tagged you.
2. Complete the lists of 8's.
3. Tag 8 other bloggers.
4. Tell them that they have been tagged.

8 Things I Look Forward To

1. Seeing my children again

2. The end of TAKS

3. Summer

4. My knee replacement surgery being over

5. FRIDAY!!

6. Becoming a grandma

7. Sleeping late every day!

8. Hugging my sons!

8 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Taught my students how to write Limerick Poetry.

2. Laughed with good friends at lunch.

3. Got my hair cut.

4. Hoped there would not be a storm.

5. Worried about a friend who was hurt.

6. Got on Facebook.

7. Watched a movie I DVR'd

8. Went to bed early.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Hug my sons.

2. Go to Florida to visit my sisters.

3. Sing really well.

4. Become a exerciseaholic!

5. Forget my mistakes!

6. Sleep all night without waking up.

7. Wiggle my nose and have a clean house.

8. Stop being so stressed all of the time.

8 Shows I Watch

1. Brothers and Sisters

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. Private Practice

4. One Tree Hill

5. Gossip Girl

6. The Young and the Restless

THAT IS ALL I WATCH!!

8 Bloggers That I Tagged (have fun ladies!)

Ginger

Maria

Charla

Lisa

Kelly

Stephanie

Emily

Amanda

Birthday

2009-04-30T09:23:00.004-05:00

As some of you already know, today is my birthday; thanks for the kind words. I used to begin my birthday by calling my sweet mama and thanking her for giving me life. I would usually send her flowers or candy and a heartfelt card. She loved candy! Sadly, my mom passed away 3 years ago, so my birthday begins a little bittersweet now. I still think of my amazing mom as each birthday morning begins. There are tears; there are regrets; there is joy. Unfortunately, there is no phone call. So, I lift my eyes to Heaven and asked God to tell her "Thank You!" I know He does, and I am certain that she smiles down on me as I type this.

Today, I thought back on all the birthdays I have had the privilege to have in my life. The times when I would invite every kid in my homeroom class to my house for a party. We would play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" and try to pop balloons by sitting on them! In junior high we would attempt to dance to loud rock songs, play air hockey and "neck" behind the fence! High school birthdays were spent with my sweetheart: dinner and a movie, still "necking"!! LOL! As an adult birthdays meant homemade cards and candle holders made from Tanner's own pottery wheel, flowers, a night off from cooking. Last year I have a bittersweet memory of a birthday present: baby booties given to me by Tanner and Tara, their way of letting me know I was going to be a grandma. Alas, it was not meant to be, and God took our little angel.

This year someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I could think of only one thing. I want my children back in my life. I miss them; I ache for them; I cry for them. I beg God for a renewed relationship; I cry out to Him in my anguish; I scream at Him in anger during those times when I feel He is not listening to me. I lose hope and find it again. Sometimes I pray for God to take me because I do not feel I can face another day without my children. Then God lifts me up with kinds words from a friend, a rose bloom or a refreshing rain, a hug from a small child.

So today, I want my sons to know how I thank God every day for them and the men they have become. I want them to know that there is nothing that will ever stop the infinite love that I have for them. I want them to know that while my life is so incomplete without them, I am grateful that they are happy and healthy. I want them to know that the house I live in will always be their home...no matter what. I want them to know that the door to that home is always open to them should they decide to come home....please come home.

I Held Him in my Eyes...

2009-04-27T09:27:00.006-05:00

I saw my oldest son, Tanner, this weekend. It had been 9 months since I last saw him. We both attended the birthday party of Cooper Sides. We did not talk or get near each other, but at least I saw him. He looked good, healthy, older. I longed to put my arms around him, hear his heart beat, hear his voice, smell him, hold him in my arms. I thanked God that I was able to hold him in my eyes! God is good.

Friends

2009-04-24T12:04:00.003-05:00

I am stealing Amanda's idea for a blog today. Hers dealt with the value of friends in her life. When I read it, I smiled because I had been thinking the same thing about the people I call friends as well.

I have not had the best week ever either, Amanda. Must be something "in the water." Could be the fact that we are teachers, and this time of year is brutal! Nevertheless, I too am very thankful for the people in my life that choose to stand in the gap for me as my friends each and every day! They sense when I am down and try to lift me up. They send me Bible verses, jokes and stop by my room on my conference period to check on me. I hope that I repay them as they deserve. Have a blessed weekend, all!

Earth Day at Childress Junior HIgh School!!

2009-04-22T14:56:00.005-05:00

My kids show their commitment to "Be Green!"

My Kids!!

2009-04-20T09:49:00.004-05:00

I am so amazed and proud of my junior high "kids!" I tell my students at the onset of each year that they are "mine" for the next nine months. I explain to them that this means they are going to be treated just like my own flesh and blood children. I will discipline them, teach them, love them, support them, praise them, guide them. If I am mean to them, they know it is because I really care about them and know they can do better.

Well, my kids have been pretty awesome at many things this year: band, football, basketball, cheerleading, art, academics, and now TRACK!! They showed up at the district track meet on Saturday, and EVERYONE knew the Bobkittens were there! Although I did not get to personally attend the meet, I have heard nothing but great news from everyone I have asked! These kids...they keep their grades up; they work their tails off in practice; they get up at unheard of hours in the morning; they race hurt, tired, hungry and even SHOELESS!! I love them....the spirit, the determination, the heart!

I wish there were more adults like my kids!

FRIDAY HAPPY DANCE!!

2009-04-17T09:49:00.009-05:00

"Debbieisms"

2009-04-15T10:11:00.002-05:00

I have a good friend who is an educator in the Ropes school system. She and I communicate on Facebook, and she mentioned to me the other day that she still repeats some of the "witty" sayings she remembered me saying when we both taught at Childress High School. She told me that she thought I should write a book...hmmm...not too excited about that, so I thought I might just share some of my favorites here on my blog.

"I'm gonna take you out like yesterday's trash!"

"And you think you know more than me because....?"

"You are lyin' like a rug!"

"I am not here to be your friend; I am here to teach you."

"They pay me whether you like me or not."

"It is one thing for people to think you are stupid; it is another to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"When you grow up and become a teacher you can chew gum in class too."

"If I want your opinion I will knock it out of you!"

"Don't look at me like you have no idea what I'm talking about; look at me like you know how to figure it out!"

"If I wanted to teach kindergarten, that is where I would be."

"Something is only a mistake if you fail to learn from it."

"You can do anything you want to do if you want to do it bad enough."

"The thing to try when all else fails is.....harder."

"Believing you can do something is the first step to achieving it."

"The most powerful thing you may ever do is be an example to someone else."

Standing in the Rain

2009-04-12T17:38:00.003-05:00

Rain! The sound, the sight, the smell of sweet, sweet rain! I was chatting with a friend on Facebook when we started hearing thunder, and I said, "If it starts to rain, I am going to go stand out in it!" Needless to say, it didn't rain right then...true Texas weather!

The day wore on, and I finally got out of my pj's, showered, fixed my hair, put on make-up around 6 or so..(Hey! It was Saturday; I am allowed to lounge! Ha!). Then I heard it: RAIN! Lots and lots of it! I thought about what I had said to my friend earlier in the day about standing in the rain...hmmmm. Now, it wasn't like I had promised or bet her that I really, really would stand in the rain. It wasn't like she would know if I had or not, but something about the sound of the rain called to me. I thought of the times when I was in college, and I would come home on the weekends. I have a sister who is 9 years younger than me, and weekends when I was in college were always special between us. I would play games with her; we would fly kites, ride bikes. On one memorable Saturday, we played in the rain! Rolled our pant legs up, took our shoes off, and literally danced in the rain! Sweet memories!

So, off came my shoes and socks, up went my pant legs, out my back door I went onto my patio. It was cold! It was raining hard! It was wonderful! I tilted my head back, raised my arms high and let it wash over me! My mouth turned up into a smile; the smile became a laugh; I did a little dance! I whooped a little whoop! The rain washed my hair-do out, washed my make-up off, soaked my clothes! It also washed my cares away, washed my stress away and soaked my soul! If anyone had peeked into my backyard, I am sure they would have been convinced that I was crazy, and maybe I am. Of one thing I am sure of though, I was reminded of the simplicity of the grace of God by standing in that rain. All we have to do is lift our arms high and let his grace wash over us...just like the rain did to me!

It is not how you survive the storm that matters, but how you learn to dance in the rain!

Breakin' Up is Hard to Do

2009-04-09T09:44:00.002-05:00

I had to "break up" with some friends this past week. It was hard to do. I realized that instead of me lifting them up as I had hoped, they were bringing me down. I have "fix-it" syndrome. I think I can fix things and people. I am stubborn; I hate to give up, give in, walk away....Unfortunately, I had to in this situation. It is impossible to help those who refuse to help themselves, so I had to save myself...cut my losses and move on. There were harsh words; there were tears, but I walked. Yup, breakin' up is hard to do....

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-08T12:09:00.001-05:00

"Go To" God

2009-04-06T12:15:00.005-05:00

Each of us are called upon to make decisions each and every day; some are minor, some not so minor. On what do we base our decisions? If it is something as simple as, "What do I want to eat?", a simple trip to the pantry or fridge can help us with that decision. What about the harder ones though?

For me, I always go to God; He is my guy for the difficult questions in life. Does He always answer me right away? No.... Does He always tell me what I want to hear? No..... Do I always listen to His answers? Ummm...no... However, does He always have my best interests at heart? Does He know my pain and indecision before I know it? Does He love me even when I don't listen to His answers right away? Yes! Yes! Yes!

I have often wondered how people that don't have a relationship with God make it through life, especially through the most difficult times. The times when you are down to nothing and no one. The times when you simply cannot see a ray of light anywhere. The times that make you want to curl into a ball and simply fade away.

Yes, I have had experiences with all of the above, and before I let God into my life, those times.....well, those times sucked! Thankfully, now I have a "Go to God." I go to Him with questions; I go to Him with sadness; I go to him with praise. He doesn't care how large or small my questions/problems/praises are. He sits; He listens; He nods His head; He holds my hand; He heals my heart; He laughs and smacks me upside my head sometimes, but He is there for me. He never says, "Oh man! It's HER again! Do I HAVE to answer?" He just answers. The point is, He is there each and every time, my Go to God. If you don't know Him, give him a shout sometime; He's there, I promise!

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

We should be like little children.....

2009-04-02T13:21:00.003-05:00

I took 4 of my reading students to the elementary school today to read to Mrs. Gunn's second grade class. These 4 students recently passed the reading portion of the TAKS test, and I told them we would do something fun for a few weeks. Believe it or not, they chose to pick books to read to elementary classes. I was proud!

One of the students in my group is an extremely intelligent young man, but, as circumstances would have it, he is not growing up in the most positive of environments. Therefore, he has cultivated a reputation that is less than positive. Although quite an "attention hog" in the classroom, he was very reluctant to talk in front of this group of second graders. With my encouragement ("I'm the teacher; you're the student; you ARE doing this!) he participated quite well in the reading.

After a brief question and answer session conducted by my students, one second grader raised his hand. The student was Sager Atchley; if you do not know him, you are really missing a blessing in your life! This is a child who has faced overwhelming physical roadblocks in his life; he has encountered and overcome things in his life that could have had severe negative effects on him personally, but he has the most amazing outlook on life! He has a personality that is so infectious, a laugh that comes from his belly, and a love and acceptance of others that comes from his heart. Anyway, when Sager was called on, he said to one of my students, "I know you. You used to come to my house and see my brother. He misses you." Awww.....BUT....WAIT FOR IT.....Sager then looked and pointed at my student I have been writing about....(I admit...I thought....Uh Oh!) Sager said, "I know you too. My brother has talked about you; you are a GOOD guy!" WOW!!!!!

My student's smile was as wide as the Mississippi River at it's widest point; it could have lit up the darkest night!! As we drove to the Childress Bakery for their reward, we all talked about what fun the experience had been. This young man of mine then said, "Sager rocks!" We all agreed! What a difference this young child made in my student's day; what a difference we could make in the lives of those around us if we were like this child, seeing others with truly the eyes of God. Such a seemingly small thing, the words that came from Sager's mouth. Such an amazingly colossal impact those words had on the ears they fell on.

"I tell you with certainty, unless you change and become like little children, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Just When You Give Up...God Has Another Plan..

2009-03-31T10:27:00.003-05:00

How many times in your life have you decided, "That's it! I'm done! No more!"? If you are anything like me, I am sure you have said something akin to that a million times. Sometimes, I say it, and that is it; nothing else happens; I am really "done" with whatever it is I have decided to be done with, and life moves on. However, there are those other times when I have adamantly made a proclamation of this sort, and God has said, "Oh really? Well, I have another plan." I just imagine Him sitting and smiling at me and shaking His head.

This past weekend God and I had one of these moments, the moments I call in my head the "Oh Really?" moments. I slammed a door, and He opened a window and said, "Oh really? I have another plan." I sighed; he smiled; we both laughed. I looked up at Him and said, "Sometimes you really aggravate me!" He gently patted my back and said, "I know exactly how you feel."

So, here I am looking out of the open window, smiling, humming, praising my friend God for all of the blessed "Oh really?" moments that He keeps giving me. Life is good; Love is better; God is best.

When the world whispers, "Give up", God shouts, "Try one more time!"

For My Sons....

2009-03-26T14:29:00.004-05:00

I love you dearly and miss you more each and every day. God walks with me, and He and your dad both assure me that you are healthy, happy and doing well. I know that you are both still so very hurt, and I cannot take that pain away, or believe me, I would. I know that you need your space, but I need to hear your voices; I need to wrap my arms around you and feel you breathing; I need to see your faces; I need to smell you. You are my babies no matter how old you are, and it kills me as each day passes to know that I am missing things in your lives, and I can never have that day back. I know I need to be patient, and I am trying so hard, but on days like this, my grief overwhelms me. Grief that comes from knowing that you are so close, yet so far away. I love you....a million times I love you! Please come home soon.

Mom

"The Look"

2009-03-24T11:16:00.005-05:00

How many times has a look "rattled your cage"? Do we even realize the power that our facial expressions have? One of my good friends shared something that made me think about this topic. Actually, what she shared made me initially angry, but then I thought about my own portfolio of "looks." As an educator, I know that a simple look can change a child's day either for the better or for the worse. Just one glance, no words whatsoever, and I could change the course of a student's day! However, have I thought about the effect I have on others in my life?? Sadly, probably not as much as I should have. After today though, I will treat my "looks" as I treat my words. It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword. Looks then, are poisonous arrows aimed at a person's heart. Be careful whom you fling these arrows towards.

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." James 2:8

2009-03-19T21:30:00.003-05:00

I live a blessed life. While there are many things that I wish were different, I realize that I have such miracles surrounding me on a daily basis. While my knee hurts me horribly some days, I still CAN walk. While I am alone a lot of the time, I CAN eat cereal for supper and not cook. While I have not seen my sons for a long time now, they ARE healthy. While I know I do not please God on a daily basis, He DOES love me unconditionally. He has surrounded me with angels I call friends that go to war for me in prayer daily. He has placed me at Childress Junior High School in the midst of some of the best people in the world. I live a blessed life!!

But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. Psalms 5:11

2009-03-16T16:04:00.005-05:00

I only have these very few words for my post today:

SPRING BREAK!!! and....GO COWBOYS!

Wordless Wednesday: Blessings!

2009-03-11T11:32:00.005-05:00

10 Things to Say to a Friend...

2009-03-09T11:59:00.004-05:00

After reading Trey's post about 10 things husbands never say, I decided to "borrow" his idea.

I have some awesome friends in my life; some have been in my life a while, others I have acquired recently. Here are some things they have said that have meant a great deal to me...

1. "Let me know if you ever need to talk."

2. "You have made progress."

3. "You are not alone."

4. "Let's pray together."

5. "The present is not the future."

6. "You are not a failure."

7. "I really admire you."

8. "It's not HOW you get through this that matters; it is how you ACT while going through this."

9. "You are an amazing creation by an amazing Creator."

10."Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you." *(Hebrews 13:5)

Foto Friday!!

2009-03-05T17:15:00.006-06:00

Peace

2009-03-03T19:04:00.002-06:00

As many of you know, my sons and I have been estranged these past several months. I have not seen Tyler since May and Tanner since July. Rice and Nancy Nippert delivered Tyler's Christmas presents to him today when they traveled to Lubbock to see Drew. I delivered Tanner and Tara's presents to their house 2 weeks ago.

Before you start feeling sorry for me, let me say that this situation is of my own making. I have made many mistakes in my life that have affected my sons directly, and this summer I made one that was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back." I have been to counseling previously in my life, and once again find myself "back on the couch." However, this time there is a difference.

Primarily, the difference is that this time I have asked God to help me; something I haven't done wholeheartedly before. I literally asked God to kill everything that was inside me and replace it with who and what He wanted me to be. I wanted every trace of "that person" to be gone. I then accepted the forgiveness and salvation that He has been trying to give me all of my life. I thought I had taken it years ago, but sadly, I had not. I prayed for guidance; I prayed for strength; I prayed for peace.

The next morning I awoke quite literally with a "peace that surpasseth all understanding." I smiled the second my eyes opened; I said aloud, "Good morning, God. Thank you." That day was wonderful! That day was two and a half weeks ago, and I have started EVERY SINGLE MORNING the same exact way, and every day has been miraculous!! I have a joy in my life that I have never had. I have a peace and a love for life that I have never had. I recognize my blessings and rejoice in my pain because I know that God is working WITH me and BESIDE me through this pain! There are moments when I close my eyes, lean my head back and take a deep breath, so grateful that I have such a wonderful, loving, forgiving Savior!

I know I have a long way to go, but thanks to God, I don't have to go alone! Praise the Lord!

Your word is a lamp to myfeet and a light to my path.Psalm 119:105

Fat Tuesday!!! Oh yeah!!

2009-02-24T12:20:00.005-06:00

Wish I could be there!!

Not Me Monday!

2009-02-23T19:15:00.002-06:00

Okay...I have never done this before, but I thought I would give it a try since many of my friends post "Not Me Monday" blogs. I did not stay up too late watching the Oscars and then oversleep this morning, Not Me! I did not tell a student that he made me feel like I wanted to throw up when I look at him, Not Me! I did not eat a Slim Fast Bar for breakfast and a Smart Ones Weight Watchers Meal for lunch then come home and eat Chips Ahoy! Cookies, Not Me! I did not drive to the gym to work out, walk in, then walk back out, Not Me! I did not hang up on my sister while she was in mid-sentence because she was being so negative and bringing me down, Not Me! I did not fib when she called me right back and tell her my phone went dead and I had to plug it in, Not Me! I did not just laugh out loud while reading that last sentence of my post, Not Me!

Time

2009-02-06T12:00:00.002-06:00

Ginger's post this week about people who constantly say they do not have time for one thing or another made me think about the things I make time for in my life. I do believe that we can make time for the things that mean the most to us, whether it be time for family, friends, exercise, whatever!

I have decided that I am going to make more time for myself. That may sound selfish, but allow me to explain. I have not been healthy this year. Seems like I get rid of one ailment just as another one shows up. I have not been 100% for anything I have done since about September. So, I am going to make time for myself to get myself healthy again. I am going to eat better. I am going to exercise again. I am going to take vitamins. I am going to sit in the sunshine instead of sitting on the couch. I am going to start each day by thanking God for EVERYTHING that is in my life: the bad as well as the good. I figure that if I do this for myself, those around me will benefit as well. I want to be a better mother. I want to be a better sister. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better teacher. I want to be a better Christian.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Fair???

2009-01-30T10:34:00.003-06:00

Most of us grew up with our parents lecturing us about being fair: "Don't hog the slide; be fair and share with your sister!" "Be fair now; let someone else have a turn!" "Hey! That's not fair; she got to sit up front last time!" Yup!! I only have sisters, as you can probably tell.

The thing is, life is NOT fair! We weren't promised fair. When someone who is seemingly "spotless" in character and morals dies a young or horrible death, we think, "That's just not fair!" Good people get hurt. Innocent people suffer. We lose; we suffer; we hurt; we question.... In the end, we can only trust in God and realize that He does know what He is doing, whether we see it at the time or not. The past 8 months have been hard for me; I am suffering; I am missing my children; I am questioning; I am thinking: "They are not being fair!" Then I hear a small, still voice whispering, "I didn't promise you fair; I only promised you life." And I smile, wipe away my tears, square my shoulders and say, "Okay." I remember, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son." That wasn't fair, but I wouldn't want it any other way!!

WTAC.....and Mondays..

2009-01-19T14:08:00.000-06:00

Today all teachers attended a WTAC meeting in Clarendon. Now, meetings are not my favorite things...those of you that know even a little bit about me know this!!

Today though, I DID learn something. I learned that no matter who you are, or where you are in life, you still can have your heart crushed in an instant by someone you have placed your total confidence in. I learned that even when children are grown-up and married and all "on their own," as a mother, you will still worry and agonize and cry and want to fight their battles for them. I learned that God has surrounded me with so many amazing angels that I call friends that I am overwhelmed at times! Today I learned that we get out of life what we put into it, and I have decided to open my eyes and be thankful for the blessings that surround me daily.

"Give, and it will be given unto you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6, 38

TGIF!!!!!

2009-01-16T16:08:00.000-06:00

Oh my gosh!! I didn't think this week was ever going to end! Not that I really even had a full week to teach thanks to basketball games, honor roll celebration, stock show...whew!! I have no clue what kids have done what and when! Just going to try to make a fresh start on Tuesday...Tuesday...when the little angels have had one extra day to get all hyped-up!! Ugh! LOL! Maybe I will discover some new techniques for staying on top of things at WTAC on Monday.....hmmmm...

Anyway, the weekend is finally here, and there is a warm blanket and a good book calling my name! Hot chocolate might even be involved in this deal! I just feel the need to hibernate and think about life--blessings, curses and all. Going to try to focus on the blessings, of course!

Luke 18:27.........The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

Tired of the cherry pits!!

2009-01-14T19:30:00.000-06:00

Ever heard the quote, "Life is a bowl full of cherries, and all I get are the pits!"? I think Erma Bombeck said that... That is my life lately!! No-tread tires: replaced, Broken rear window: part ordered, Trashed hot water heater: replaced....bill in the mail today: Ay yi yi!! That is just the parts that are wearing out on my possessions....can't list all the "parts" that are wearing out on my body!! Oh well....Someone else also said, " I know the plans I have for you.." Think I will keep His words in my heart!!